- A Telegraph-style suggestion claims airlines could reach net zero by scrapping business class.
- In reality, airlines survive on premium cabins and will protect them as if they were crown jewels.
- The rich will not downgrade to “cattle class” for climate virtue.
- The future is more likely to be Eco Business Class, not no business class
- If we cannot have that, fine — we fly zeppelin.
There is a deliciously unrealistic suggestion doing the rounds that airlines could move closer to net-zero by removing business class. The logic is simple enough: fewer luxury seats means more passengers per flight, and therefore fewer emissions per passenger. It sounds clean, moral, even heroic.
It is also the kind of idea that collapses the moment it meets money.
Business class is not a decorative flourish airlines keep around for vanity. It is the best moneymaker in the sky. It does not matter if the plane is half-empty. Those premium seats stay because they are part of the aircraft that pays for itself. Strip them out, and you do not get climate salvation. You get unprofitable routes, fewer flights, higher ticket prices, and a lot of airline executives developing new stress-related illnesses.
The Rich Will Not Fly “Cattle”
Now imagine telling A-listers, VIPs, and corporate travellers that they must fly economy for the planet. Not “premium economy.” Not “a slightly wider seat.” Economy. The real one.
You can already picture the facial expressions. Blue blood turning red at Gate 12. A man who has not queued since 1998 is suddenly confronted with the full choreography of the boarding line, as if it were a cultural shock experiment. The first time a celebrity’s knee touches the seat in front of them, it will be treated as an incident.
And no, they will not lower their standards because of carbon footprints. That is not how status works. If you remove comfort, the wealthiest travellers will find a way around the rule. More charter flights, more private jets, more “members-only aviation.” Climate policy would accidentally create an even more elitist, higher-emissions reality, simply because the top layer does not downgrade. It detours.
Eco Business Class Is the Inevitable Loophole
If business class becomes politically awkward, airlines will not cancel it. They will baptise it. They will rebrand luxury as virtue and call it progress.
Welcome aboard, Eco Business Class. Your blanket is made from recycled moral superiority. Your pillow is stuffed with organic conscience. Your seat is upholstered in dandelion-based leather because cows now have a carbon problem. The coffee is fair-sourced and served with a lecture. Someone will eventually offer “artisanal bottled air from Lake Como” and insist it is a sustainable experience.
Everything will be eco. Everything except the fuel — but who cares about the fuel, apparently.
Fine Then, We Fly Zeppelin
And if we cannot have our nice eco-business class fantasy, no problem. We are not in a hurry. We fly zeppelin.
Net zero wants to cancel business class? Fine. Bring back the zeppelin. At least then we would suffer with style.
And the funniest part is that zeppelins never really died. Germany still has a modern zeppelin industry based around Friedrichshafen on Lake Constance, where new airships have been built and flown in recent years. So if the world ever decided to swap jets for floating hotels, there is already a place ready to meet the demand. The factory is not a fantasy. The appetite for slow sky-travel is.
Ryanair Stand-up Zeppelin
Of course, the moment zeppelins return, Ryanair will revolutionise the category, not with romance, but with pricing. Expect “standing zeppelin” tickets, “bring-your-own-rope” seating, and a premium add-on called Air, which allows you to breathe without extra fees.
Airports or Zeppelin Taxi Stands?
And the best part is that zeppelins do not even need airports in the way jets do: no runways, no frantic gate changes, no sprinting while holding a passport between your teeth. In a sane world, a zeppelin could operate more like a flying cab. You would not “go to the airport.” You would simply hail it.
Picture the future: you stand in a plaza, coffee in hand, and call up to the sky like a civilised person.
“Hello. I am at the piazza. Yes, the big one. Please come down and pick me up.”
And for once, “pick me up” is literal.
So, imagine air travel becoming human again — slow, spacious, romantic, gentle. No airport sprinting. No knees in ribs. No seatbelt bruises that last longer than the vacation. You float toward Athens like an airborne cruise ship and land wherever the sky allows. Turbulence becomes an inconvenience, not a punishment: the zeppelin lands politely and waits. It does not argue with the weather like a stubborn jet.
