Cyprus proudly announced that it is “implementing” the European Tourism Agenda 2030 — which, judging by the speech, means someone printed out the agenda, placed it on a desk, and then immediately went for coffee. Deputy Tourism Minister Costas Koumis stood before the Association of Cyprus Tourist Enterprises and delivered the classic Mediterranean political aria: a long, confident performance in which every sentence sounds important while saying absolutely nothing at all.
He spoke about “a new era,” “new data,” “recent developments,” and “respect for communities,” as if he were reading aloud from a prophecy. You could almost hear the PowerPoint slides sighing with exhaustion. According to him, Cyprus is advancing on all five pillars of the European Tourism Agenda 2030 — green transition, digital transition, resilience, inclusion, upskilling, reskilling, plus a sprinkle of “new legislative regulations” for flavor. At this point, the pillars are multiplying like Gremlins, but luckily, no one in the room was counting.
Each point floated by like a cloud in a government-produced weather report.
Green transition? A couple of plants outside a resort.
Digital transition? A website that will break the moment a tourist tries to use it.
Inclusion? A paragraph, maybe two, inside a PDF.
Upskilling and reskilling? English words thrown around like confetti to distract from the fact that nothing has been built, taught, upgraded, or reskilled in any measurable way.
Throughout the speech, Koumis reassured the audience that the government is “closely monitoring developments in the EU.” This is political code for: “We wait for Brussels to finish the homework so we can copy it without getting caught.” Cyprus is watching everything that “may affect positively or negatively” the present and future of tourism — which is another way of saying they are watching everything, while doing very little, but phrased in a way that sounds beautifully responsible.
In the end, the entire announcement drifted away like steam from a cup of Cypriot coffee: fragrant, comforting, and absolutely without substance. Cyprus is transitioning, monitoring, planning, respecting, strategizing, and aligning with the European vision — all at once, and all in theory.
If this speech were any more fluid, it would evaporate. If it were any emptier, developers would try to sell it as beachfront land.
