- Rethymno Police Union hosts a big public event on December 3, 2025
- Theme: “Crime in Crete – myth or reality?”
- Locals, academics, and law enforcement gather to debate
- Argophilia adds tourist reality, vendetta culture, and local weaponry
- Knives vs guns vs poison (spoiler: knives win)
- Why visitors think Crete is both the safest and scariest island in Europe
Crime in Crete Depends on Who You Ask
On December 3 at 18:00, the Rethymno Police Union invites the public to the House of Culture in the Old Town for an event titled “Crime in Crete: Myth or Reality?”
Cute. Adorable even.
Because if you ask a Cretan, crime is a myth.
If you ask a tourist, crime is “that one time the taxi driver overcharged me by €4.”
If you ask someone from another Greek region, Crete is Game of Thrones with goats.
And if you ask Argophilia? Crime in Crete is seasonal, traditional, occasionally theatrical, and always handled within the family before the police even warm up the patrol car.
Tourists Think Crete Is Disneyland With Better Food
Foreign visitors come to Crete expecting Zeus, beaches, and hospitality. What they actually encounter:
- men carrying knives “just in case,”
- gunshots at weddings “just for fun,”
- raki that could strip paint,
- and yiayiades who can spot a scammer from 7 kilometers away.
Tourists will swear Crete is the safest place on Earth because:
- No one will mug you —
- because everyone is too busy watching everyone else —
- because everyone is related to everyone else —
- because everyone owns something sharp.
Crime rate? Practically zero.
Fear factor? A gentle 8 out of 10, depending on how many gunshots you hear on the weekend.
Vendetta Culture Myth or Manual
Let us address the elephant in the room: vendettas.
Are they still a thing?
Official answer: Eh, not really.
Unofficial answer: Depends on the village.
Argophilia answer: Vendettas do not happen anymore… unless they do.
This is Crete: grudges ferment like wine. Some families reconcile, others keep spreadsheets.
But no, tourists are not in danger. The only thing that might kill them is:
- the sun,
- the raki,
- or their own arrogance walking Samaria wearing flip-flops.
Knives vs Guns: The Eternal Cretan Debate
Let us be honest:
Knives are Cretan culture. Guns are Cretan fun.
Knives:
- always practical
- always personal
- always available
Guns:
- mostly ceremonial
- mostly loud
- mostly pointed at the sky, unless someone is truly stupid
Poison:
- absolutely exists
- mostly agricultural
- occasionally rumored
- always denied
Venom?
Only the scorpions are armed, and they mind their own business.
The Academic Event Trying to Make Sense of All This
Now, back to the actual event.
Speakers include:
- Georgios Papakonstantis, criminologist, brigadier general retired
- Nikolaos Papadakis, professor and director of political research at the University of Crete
- Andreas Argyropoulos, criminal lawyer with enough experience to write a thriller series
The aim: To look at crime scientifically, calmly, and with public participation.
Argophilia translation: Brave souls attempt to academically analyse a region where yiayiades solve disputes faster than the court system.
The Real Question Is Not “Is Crime Real” But “Does It Stand a Chance”
Crime in Crete exists, but Crete is built differently. What are you going to do?
Steal from someone whose cousin’s best friend’s brother works in the police?
Hide in a village where every balcony has binoculars?
Commit a crime in a region where the entire kafeneio knows your mother’s maiden name? Impossible.
The only successful criminal on this island is: whoever keeps increasing the price of zucchini every summer.
That one remains at large.
Argophilia Survival Tips for Visitors
- Do not join gunfire at weddings.
- Do not comment on someone’s raki.
- Do not assume silence means safety — it means planning.
- Do not pick herbs on private land unless you want a history lesson.
- If someone offers you food, saying no is a crime.
- If someone offers you raki, saying no is also a crime.
- Stay in your lane. Crete is safe, but Crete is Crete.
