The Περιφέρεια Κρήτης proudly announced its participation in the Greek Luxury Tourism & Gastronomy Workshop in Riyadh — because if there is one thing Crete absolutely excels at, it is flying very far away to tell rich people that Crete is beautiful. A bold strategy.
We are told the Saudi market is emerging.
Yes. Emerging.
Like the 11.6 million international trips Saudis took this year, somehow count as a soft launch.
But the pièce de résistance?
The press release forgot to mention the most important selling point of all:
Every Cretan can now afford a trip to Riyadh.
Easily. Comfortably. With style.
Not only afford it — crave it. Because frankly, Italy, our old neighbor across the pond, has lost its charm. Everybody and their cousin has already photographed the Colosseum, and we are done pretending that pizza tastes different in Naples. Well, it does, but that’s not the point…
Riyadh? Now that is the new weekend getaway vibe.
You wake up, grab your passport, hop on a plane, and by evening, you are sipping Saudi coffee in a mall larger than your entire municipality. Cretans are ready. They have their suitcases open. They are Googling “best shawarma in Riyadh” as we speak. Italy who? Finished. Riyadh is the new Lygaria.
Back to the workshop:
The Region’s delegation delivered presentations on Cretan hospitality, wellness experiences, gastronomy, premium infrastructure — the Holy Trinity plus spas. Somewhere between the PowerPoint transitions, they managed to nod thoughtfully about “networking with high-end travelers.”
Meanwhile, Saudis — who casually spend 4,800 USD per trip and choose 4-5 star hotels 72% of the time — listened politely, probably wondering why the Greeks keep describing luxury to people who consider gold-plated elevators normal.
Dr. Kyriakos Kotsoglou expressed astonishment at the “φιλοξενία από την καρδιά” in Saudi Arabia.
Amazing discovery. Groundbreaking. Also, Greece enjoys throwing “philoxenia” into the mix like you throw breadcrumbs to a pigeon.
Imagine walking into someone else’s country and finding out they, too, know how to smile and offer incredible service. Next, we will learn that other cultures also drink coffee.
He also called for “μεγαλύτερο συντονισμό” in Greece’s tourism promotion.
Translation: Let us try doing this professionally next time, not as a group vacation disguised as a workshop.
Still, Crete’s attempt to charm the Saudi market makes sense. Saudis adore Greece, value authenticity, crave culture — and Crete has all of this effortlessly.
But let us not ignore the new reality:
If the Region keeps promoting Riyadh this hard, Cretans themselves will be the ones booking flights east, because apparently, paradise now comes with skyscrapers, desert sunsets, and indoor snow parks. And camels.
And honestly?
After the drama in Italy, who can blame them?
Κρήτη, Παντού — including Riyadh, baby.
- Crete has around 624,408 residents (2021 census) according to official statistics.
- That makes it one of the more populous regions of Greece, but — and this is the thing — “everybody” includes young people, retirees, unemployed folks, people in agriculture, single-parent families, etc. A lot of them don’t have the disposable income needed for a luxury-market trip to Riyadh.
Why “every Cretan can afford Riyadh” is patently absurd
- Assuming even a modest fraction — say 10–20% of the population — could realistically afford and want such a trip, that’s still only ~62,000 to 125,000 people. Not “every Cretan,” obviously.
- A large portion of those 624,000 are children, the elderly, or people working in low-income sectors. They can’t and don’t spend like luxury-travel Saudis (the press release mentions Saudi travellers spend ~$4,800/trip).
- The claim ignores the cost of living, economic inequality, and seasonal income (Crete depends a lot on tourism, agriculture, and part-time jobs). It’s not a stable guarantee for frequent Gulf-style travel.
- The press release offers no data or survey showing Cretans are actually booking trips to Riyadh — it just waves a magic wand and claims “they can afford it.” That’s PR fantasies, not reality.
- Saying “every Cretan has the means or will to travel to Riyadh” absurdly inflates the local purchasing power and ignores the majority’s economic constraints.
Why This Press Release Is Basically a Lie
- Claiming that Cretans can “afford” trips to Riyadh is outrageous. Most families on the island struggle with daily costs, let alone luxury travel to the Gulf.
- Calling Saudi Arabia an “emerging market” is false. Saudis already travel internationally in huge numbers and spend heavily — nothing is emerging about it.
- Pretending Crete has a coordinated luxury tourism strategy is misleading. Showing up at a workshop does not mean you have a plan.
- Making a routine B2B event sound like a breakthrough is dishonest. These events happen constantly and rarely change anything without serious follow-up.
- Acting shocked by Saudi hospitality shows a lack of research. The region should have known this long before flying there.
- Claiming they met “luxury travelers” is untrue. They met travel agents, not high-spending Saudis themselves.
- Talking about “luxury tourism” without listing any real partnerships or investments is empty promotion. No deals, no commitments, no projects.
- Ignoring the competition is deceptive. Saudis choose destinations with stronger luxury infrastructure than Crete every day.
- No mention of the key obstacle: direct flights. Without reliable year-round air routes, this market remains impractical.
- Crete’s luxury offerings are limited and seasonal. The press release pretends they match Gulf expectations, but they do not — yet.
- The release declares success without evidence. No measurable outcomes, only flattering language.
- It frames the trip as necessary but provides no evidence of impact. It reads like PR for travel expenses, not for tourism growth.
Malaka Press Release
- inflated fantasy → malaka
- pretending Cretans can fly to Riyadh every weekend → malaka
- calling Saudi Arabia “emerging” → mega-malaka
- acting shocked that Saudis have hospitality → malaka on toast
- flying the delegation for a PowerPoint and a selfie → executive malaka
- claiming “strategic outreach” with zero measurable results → institutional malaka
- turning a routine workshop into a heroic saga → Olympic-level malaka
Honestly, if press releases had genders, THIS one would be Malaka Supreme, crowned queen of them all.
You heard it from Argophilia, where we tell the truth — no matter how difficult, inconvenient, or absurd it may be.
