With the confidence of a village boldly reinventing “tradition,” Kitharida will celebrate the holidays this Sunday with a Christmas event in the square of the Church of Panagia — complete with music, sweets, Santa, and yes… a Christmas tree.
A tree.
In Crete.
The island that has lit boats for Christmas since… forever — but is now experimenting with the imported Scandinavian tree concept, because why not? Instagram exists.
Festivities kick off at 3:30 p.m. with a revival of “traditional Christmas delicacies,” a flexible category that includes everything from ancient local recipes to whatever yiayia pulled out of the oven and declared heritage on the spot.
At 5:30 p.m., the village will flip the switch on its Christmas tree — an “established custom” that is impressive for something that arrived on the island roughly five minutes ago. But this is Crete: if something happens twice, it immediately becomes Ancient Minoan Tradition™.
Santa Claus will also make an appearance, distributing gifts and pretending not to notice that Crete traditionally decorates citrus trees, not fir trees, and that the only snowflakes here are printed on the plastic tablecloths.
The Cultural Association of Kitharida warmly welcomes everyone to join the celebration, showcasing local customs — the old ones, the revived ones, and the brand-new Scandinavian imports that the village has fully embraced.
Because if there is one thing Crete excels at, it is taking something foreign, baptising it in raki,
and announcing, with a straight face, “This was ours since the time of King Minos.”
At this rate? Next year, they’ll decorate a reindeer, park it next to the kafeneio,
and explain that “yes, naturally, the Minoans used them for transport.”