Heraklion has done many questionable things over the years — potholes that qualify as archaeological sites, traffic that obeys no known laws of physics, municipal decisions made on the back of a napkin.
But THIS?
This is Olympic-level stupidity.
The port authority decided to kick all tourist catamarans out of the Venetian harbour — the ONLY place in Heraklion that actually looks like civilization — and relocate them to the commercial port, also known as:
“The place where hope goes to die.”
And THEN they added a 300% fee increase.
Not a mistake.
Not a typo.
Not 3%.
Three hundred.
It is the kind of policy that makes you ask if someone at the port is running a secret comedy club.
The Commercial Port: Where Romance Goes to Rot
Let us be honest, baby:
The commercial port smells like hot metal, diesel, wet rope, old sweat, and a mysterious undertone of piss that no scientist has ever managed to trace.
It is an aroma that punches you in the face before you even get out of the taxi.
Now imagine sending tourists there.
Tourists who came for crystal waters, dolphins, and Dia Island sunsets.
Instead, they get a welcome bouquet of:
- forklift fumes
- truck exhaust
- industrial waste
- cargo dust
- and eau de ammonia drifting across the docks
It is like greeting visitors with a slap and saying, “Welcome to Crete, now smell this.”
Safety? What Safety?
Catamaran owners are right to scream.
The commercial port is where 30-ton trucks move like angry elephants,
where cranes swing overhead like they are auditioning for Final Destination, and where the pavement is so slippery your sandals file for divorce. This is a place built for:
- containers
- cargo
- chaos
Not:
- families
- flip-flops
- and influencers trying to take a selfie without a forklift in the background
If someone falls into the water?
Good luck.
The port is so industrial that even Poseidon would refuse to intervene.
The Fee Increase: Insult Added to Injury
A 300% increase. THREE. HUNDRED.
For what? For forcing operators into a worse location that smells like metal mixed with despair?
This is the municipal version of:
“We broke your legs. Now pay us for the crutches.”
Tour operators will either:
- raise ticket prices,
- cut services,
- or eventually give up entirely,
and Heraklion’s tourism will take a hit so big it will echo into next season.
Parliament Steps In Because Someone Had To
MP Stylianos Fotopoulos politely described the decision as “incomprehensible.”
It is comprehensible.
Very. It is comprehensible in the way every bad idea is: Someone who has never taken a boat in their life made a decision at 8:45 a.m. before their coffee.
He asked the Minister:
- Are you going to stop this disaster?
- Are you going to reverse the 300% stupidity fee?
Reasonable questions. Whether he gets reasonable answers? That is another story.
What This Means for Tourists
If this decision stands, then:
- Goodbye, Venetian harbour beauty
- Hello, parking lot for trucks
- Goodbye smooth boarding
- Hello, industrial hazard zone
- Goodbye happy memories
- Hello, “Why does everything smell like rust and urine?”
This is how you kill a tourism product in one easy step.
Not even goats — the fearless creatures who eat sweaters — would venture into this decision. It is so bad that Crete should charge admission just to look at it.
