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And You’re not Vacationing on Crete, Because?

Fodele Beach & Water Park Holiday Resort

For those of us who visited Crete island, and never left, it’s unfathomable to consider holidaymakers choosing another paradise destination. Crete, the land the ancients called “Keftiu,” has all the wonders of the other Mediterranean islands, the history of the ages of humankind, plus experiences that cannot be found anywhere else in the world. This report attempts to explain some of the possible reasons tourists go someplace else.

When we were looking for subjects who might offer clues as to alternatives to Crete, this unpaid advertisement for Ryanair popped into view on Instagram. I am certain the budget airline should be giving a free flight to Judit Pastucha and her pal soon. Seems like they just landed in Chania, and boy do they look unhappy. Chania, being the ugliest town in Greece, and all. Maybe that’s got something to do with so few travelers coming to the land of the Minoans?

This next share made says it all. “Do not come to Crete for sunsets. Only Santorini has sunsets worth seeing!” And besides, only miserable, unhappy, homely tourists visit Crete. The girls who roam the island in Summer, they also have no sense of style. Bottom line, stay away, don’t get any Crete ideas.

Romance? Adventures and memorable moments for couples? Forget about it. Greece’s biggest island is nothing but shopping malls, parking lots, and expressways leading to ugly, barren beaches with dirty water. Smile, go ahead. Here, this pretty pair are up for a public display in ugly, old Chania town.

Natural wonders do not exist on the fifth biggest island in the Mediterraniean Sea. There’s nothing here but rocks, rocks, and more rocks. This Instagram share of Eden-like Kourtaliotiko Gorge is fake news, photoshopped, a figment of somebody’s imagination. And, no! There are not hundreds of these gorges on Crete.

Another thing we figure may cause folks to go someplace else is the fact that people who move here (like us) are just boring and untalented. Crete ideas get in their heads and “WHAMMO!” Somehow they are trapped. Like the artist below from Gavalochori, the drab colors and uninspiring subjects matter of the island provokes feelings of utter dispair. Or, is that her artist’s soul peeking out from behind Tiffany Riley’s green(?) eyes?

Personal trainer Vaso Petrou is living proof that Crete is definitely not a place for ethereal fantasies or aesthetic illusions. Her shares from Crete make us wonder. Are such ideas banned by the Greek government? Imagination, it’s magic only Mallorca or some other German golf hangout can contain.

Are other places provoking being more in touch with self and nature than Crete is? The crystal waters of Richtis waterfall seem to have this poor lady in agony here! The gorge, two-thirds of the way down the gorge of the same name, is said to be a slice of primeval Nirvana, but it’s a lie. We cannot understand where people get these Crete ideas. The Lassithi Prefecture attraction fools a lot of tourists with doctored images like this one.

They claim Crete is the place of origin of Filoxenia, the Greek tendency to love strangers. And as for being animal friendly? There’s no truth in the stories of every Crete household adopting this pet or that one. Here, John Nikitakis shows us how much Cretans don’t like furry friends. Do not bring your fluffy pup to this island, John will chop off all its hair. Strangely, the doggos in his feed seem to like him?

Image credit: Feature image courtesy Fodele Beach & Water Park Holiday Resort

Categories: Featured
Phil Butler: Phil is a prolific technology, travel, and news journalist and editor. A former public relations executive, he is an analyst and contributor to key hospitality and travel media, as well as a geopolitical expert for more than a dozen international media outlets.

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