- Heraklion taxi union claims “pirate taxis” threaten their existence
- Reality check: Heraklion has zero pirate taxis and infinite official ones
- Strike shuts down all taxis for 48 hours (Dec 2–3)
- Public reaction: “Finally, we can cross a street without risking our kidneys.”
- Argophilia team shares real stories of refusals, overcharging, and scenic kidnapping routes
- A consumer strike now looms — because enough is enough
The Myth of “Unfair Competition”
Let us address the fantasy.
There is:
- No Uber
- No Lyft
- No Bolt
- No foreign ride-hailing platform
- No clandestine fleet of pirate MINIs kidnapping tourists
- No shadow network of drivers waiting in alleyways whispering “Taxi? Cheap? Follow me.”
The only “competition” Heraklion taxis have is:
The bus. A bus that costs €1.20. A bus that arrives on time. A bus that does not play trap music at 7:30 AM. A bus that—scandalously—follows the shortest route.
Heraklion Taxis Announce Strike — The City Responds: “Bless You. Thank You. Don’t Rush Back.”
The Taxi Owners Association of Heraklion proudly announced a 48-hour strike, claiming they are under attack by “pirate taxis,” “unfair competition,” and “government indifference.” They paint themselves as the last knights of honest transport.
Sweetheart… if only.
Heraklion taxis are not fighting pirates. They are fighting reality.
Because in Heraklion:
- There are no pirate taxis,
- There are no random unlicensed cars picking tourists up,
- There is not even a shadow of an Uber,
- And every cab is more visible than the Parthenon in August.
Mercedes everywhere. Taxi stations everywhere. Fare charts everywhere. You can not find a taxi. You have a higher chance of stepping on a stray walnut. But sure — blame the imaginary pirates.
Pirate Taxis: A Fairytale by Brothers Grimmakis
We checked. We asked around. We live here. Our team uses taxis. Here is the reality:
Heraklion has more official taxis per square meter than bakeries.
When the taxi union says “παράταξι,” what exactly do they mean?
A taxi with an eyepatch? Like a Jack Sparrow cab? “Captain Parataxi and the Curse of the Overcharged Kómistra”?
The only “piracy” in this town is when a taxi takes the longest possible route from the airport to Nea Alikarnassos — a 3-minute ride turned into a tour of the lost city of Atlantis. We know. We lived it.
Real Story: The 15-Euro “Bone Collector Route.”
This happened to our team. We have witnesses, timestamps, camera footage, AND a mother ready to yell in three languages.
One evening, Mig’s son took a taxi from the Venetian Harbor to Nea Alikarnassos.
It is a 6-euro ride. He paid 15 because he is too polite, too young, and the driver assumed: “Ah… tourist. Fresh meat.”
No, sweetheart. Local. Born competitor. Karate green belt. And next time, he will karate-chop the fare meter. Argophilia stands by this anecdote 100%. We have the proof. And the rage.
A €15.00 flat rate for a 2 km trip is excessive. If that ever happens to you, call the Tourist Police Hotline: 171. This number is available 24/7 and supports multiple languages.
But Let Us Talk About “Service”
The union says taxis are being “stolen from.” Let us look at what we, the public, experience daily:
Here is the lived experience of actual passengers, every day, every hour, every season:
1. They choose passengers by distance.
Short trip? They look at you like you asked them to push the car up a hill. They will say, “Walk, it is close.” Or: “Not my direction.” Or simply drive away.
2. Airport routes turn into horror movies.
Is your home two minutes from the airport? Congratulations — you are now on a 20-minute tour of the industrial zone, the port, the national road, three goats, and a dead end behind a warehouse. When confronted, they say:
“You should have told me the better route.” Sweetheart… it is a straight line.
3. They pretend not to understand English.
Do they speak English? Of course they do. Some speak German. Some talk about everything except accountability.
4. They never touch luggage. Ever.
Unless:
- You are unbelievably beautiful, like Salma Hayek in 1998, or
- Actual humans raised them.
Otherwise:
- They open the trunk.
- Stare into the void.
- Wait for you to load everything.
- Watch you struggle.
- Close the trunk.
Drive.
5. They drive like they have a private guardian angel.
Speeding on narrow roads. Phone in one hand. A cigarette in the other. (They roll their own, and it always looks like marijuana. It is not. Plain tobacco.) The car steering itself out of pure divine intervention.
Traffic rules? Those are optional DLC content that they did not purchase.
6. Zebra crossings are decorative only.
Do pedestrians step on a zebra crossing even if you stand there with a halo? Heraklion taxis interpret it as:
“A fun slalom opportunity.”
Stopping for pedestrians is considered folklore like tsikoudia production, but with more screaming.
7. They double park like it is a competitive sport.
Outside pharmacies. Outside bakeries. Outside bakeries across from other bakeries. Outside their cousin’s shop. Outside places, they “just need one minute.”
What Heraklion Taxis Actually Do
- Refuse short-distance rides (“You can walk, κουκλί μου.”)
- Overcharge tourists and locals alike
- Never touch your luggage unless you look like Salma Hayek in 1998
- Drive like the laws of physics do not apply
- Double-park as they teach it in the police academy
- Ignore pedestrian crossings, even if you stand there with a halo
- Pretend not to speak English when it is inconvenient
- Play music loud enough to summon Poseidon
- Take “creative routes” usually reserved for abductions (Bone Collector-style)
- Cut from the left lane with the confidence of a bull in mating season
What They Do Not Do
- Follow traffic rules
- Respect customers
- Arrive on time
- Charge the correct fare
- Treat locals like humans
- Make sure that your teenager has only 10 euros in his pocket
But yes, the problem is “pirate taxis.” Of course. Absolutely. (Note the sarcasm.)
Consumer Strike Incoming
Let us be very clear: People in Heraklion are not using taxis less because of pirate cars. People are using taxis less because drivers treat customers like an inconvenience. When a sector behaves like this long enough, the market responds: locals start walking, tourists begin taking the bus, families start driving, neighborhoods create unofficial carpools, and honest drivers (because there ARE some!) suffer with the rest.
This did not happen because of competition. It happened because of behavior.
A 48-Hour Strike… That Feels Like a Vacation
And now we have two days without taxis. The city suddenly feels safer. No more lane cutting from the left like F1 drivers possessed by demons. No more double-parking outside bakeries “για ένα λεπτάκι.” No more horn-blasting symphonies. No more drivers pretending that zebra crossings are decorative art.
For 48 hours, the roads exhale. The pedestrians exhale. The buses exhale. Even the cats exhale. They call it a strike. We call it peace.
Counterpoint: The Union’s Demands
Yes, we must cover their official demands. We will not mock these points — only observe that they exist in a universe parallel to ours.
Their requests include:
- higher minimum fares
- stricter penalties for “pirates.”
- limits on the number of private-hire cars (which do not exist here)
- mandatory pre-booking
- heavy fines for competition
- tax reforms
- delayed transition to electric taxis
- state-funded fleet renewal
Fine. Ask for what you need. But blaming imaginary pirates while overcharging locals will never win hearts.
Conclusion: A Reckoning, Not a Strike
Heraklion deserves an honest taxi sector. Taxi drivers deserve dignity, fair regulation, and good working conditions. But honesty goes both ways.
Accusing a city of “pirate taxis” while refusing rides, inventing scenic detours, and overcharging children is not advocacy. It is performance art.
And we are done clapping. For once, we can drive without:
- a taxi slicing across from the far left lane like a migrating goose,
- a sudden stop in the middle of the road because someone needed a cigarette,
- double-parking acrobatics,
- or the medieval horn-frenzy they unleash whenever patience is required.
Roads are calm. Intersections are legal. Pedestrian crossings… actually function. For two glorious days, Heraklion looks like a European city again — not a rally stage designed by Poseidon on a bad day. They call it a strike.
We call it safety. Go on. Strike. See if we care!
Here is the real “consumer strike,” and it is powerful:
- Use them only when absolutely necessary. Every empty backseat is a vote.
- Walk away the second they refuse you. If they do not want a customer, the customer should not want them.
- Never reward bad behavior with tips. They created the rules — let them live with them.
- Report outrageous fares. It helps build a pattern.
- Share real stories publicly. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.
- Support the good drivers. Knossos Taxi → yes. “Take a hike, I don’t want that route.” → No.
- Last case scenario, deal with these guys: Tourist Police 171. This is the ultimate recourse for a non-Greek speaker. They are required to handle complaints of tourist exploitation and intimidation. Since taxi meter fraud and aggression are major offenses, they will investigate.
People are not abandoning taxis because of pirate cars. They are abandoning taxis because of taxis. Customers did not declare war. Drivers declared war on their own customers. Customers decided that the bus is more affordable without compromising their dignity.
This strike is not about pirates. It is about losing monopoly, losing control, losing the ability to decide who is worth driving, and losing the habit of making passengers feel like burdens.
If the taxis of Heraklion want public support, they could start with basic courtesy, honesty, clear routes, adherence to traffic rules, and humanity. Until then? Heraklion will remember these 48 hours as The Days of Silence.